Publication year
2016
Citation Title
Grief communication and privacy rules: Examining the communication of individuals bereaved by the death of a family member
Journal Name
Journal of Family Communication
Journal Volume
16
Issue Number
4
Page Numbers
285-302
DOI
10.1080/15267431.2016.1182534
Summary
Discussing grief can be uncomfortable for both the bereaved and the confidant, and bereaved individuals may seek to control how information about grief is shared. Bereaved college students who completed interviews about a family member’s death and their communication about grief indicated that they felt a strong need to control information and share and discuss the death according to their own and their families’ rules.
Key Findings
The majority of participants felt that information about their grief and their family member’s death was private and theirs to control when, where, and with whom they shared information.
Participants tended to use some or all of the following patterns for communicating information about their family member’s death: share selectively with certain people in certain situations, do not discuss at all, and focus only on positive topics when sharing.
In each type of communication, participants felt hurt and upset when their preferred way of discussing their family member’s death was not followed by others.
Implications for Military Professionals
Facilitate support groups that allow for open communication about grief for military families
Attend trainings about bereavement in military families to enhance their ability to support those families
Implications for Program Leaders
Offer focus groups following the death of a Service member to provide social support to other military families and to educate them about how to support the deceased’s family
Disseminate information normalizing each of the different ways of communicating about grief and encouraging families to discuss how they would like to communicate about grief
Implications for Policy Makers
Recommend ongoing supports and services for bereaved military families as grief, communication about grief, and family needs change over time
Encourage education of professionals working with military families regarding the importance of respecting bereaved individuals’ and families’ preference in communicating about grief
Methods
Bereaved college students who had experienced the death of a parent or sibling were recruited from college communications classes.
Participants completed interviews about their family member’s death and communication within and outside of the family regarding their family member’s death.
Participant statements were coded for themes about how bereaved individuals communicate with family and people outside their family regarding their family member’s death.
Participants
Participants included 21 college students from a large Midwestern university who had experienced the death of a father (52%), mother (19%), brother (19%), or sister (10%).
Participants were age 19-28 years (M = 21.24) and mostly female (71%); they identified as White (62%), Black (29%), Asian American (5%), and Pakistani (5%).
Family member causes of death included health-related problems (81%), accidents (10%), and murder (10%) and occurred between one month and 20 years prior (M = 7.17, SD = 6.06).
Limitations
Students who agreed to participate may differ from those who did not (e.g., stage of grief, ways of communicating about grief, social support).
Because participants were all college students and most had family members who died from health-related problems, results may not generalize to other age groups or circumstances.
There was a large timeframe in which participants had experienced their family member’s death (i.e., one month to 20 years prior), which may have influenced results.
Avenues for Future Research
Examine how communication about grief changes as the time since bereavement increases
Explore whether communication patterns and rules differ between bereaved individuals following different causes of death (e.g., accident, murder, combat)
Investigate how military families communicate grief within and outside of their military communities following combat-related death of a Service member
Focus
Civilian
Target Population
Population Focus
Abstract
Communication about one’s grief is both essential and complicated. We employ communication privacy management theory to examine how bereaved individuals manage the revelation and concealment of private information about the death of a parent or sibling. In-depth interviews (N = 21) with the bereaved indicate that (a) they conceptualize information surrounding the death and their grief as private, (b) they create rules to govern their private information, and (c) violations of those rules result in turbulence. Specifically, individuals employ selectivity, avoidance, and positivity rules that dictate what and with whom they share. We discuss the implications of our findings on grief communication scholarship, CPM theory, and practical issues for helping bereaved individuals and their loved ones navigate discussions about death and the deceased.
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