Silent sacrifices: The impact of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" on lesbian and gay military families

The image of the heroes' homecoming for those returning from war has become quintessential Americana. We see it in the famous World War II photograph of a sailor's celebratory kiss with a nurse, as well as in the photographs of homecoming parades after the Korean War, the Vietnam War, and the first Persian Gulf War. Every day, we see poignant images of family members and friends, holding signs of endearment and pride, anxiously scanning the crowd for their loved one returning home from Iraq or Afghanistan as the ship docks or as the plane lands. We see husbands and wives hugging and kissing. We see children clinging tightly to their newly returned mother or father for fear of losing them to another deployment abroad. It is in the very public sphere of the homecoming that we celebrate and honor our nation's military members. Yet, not everyone is included in these joyous moments. Under the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law banning open service, lesbian, gay, and bisexual' service members cannot celebrate and reunite with their loved ones in such a public space without fear of losing their job. Because of the ban on gays in the military, the sacrifices of these service members and their families are relatively unknown.